WEEK IN REVIEW: 4/5-4/12

Rahul Mital (RM)

THE CAVALIER CAVALIERS REVIEW:

Sunday, April 5th: WIN, Cavs 99, Bulls 94

Tempers flared in the Cavs victory over the Chicago Bulls.  Lebron James recorded his first triple-double of the season, and got into a spat with his nemesis Joakim Noah.  J.R. Smith added eight three-pointers, and Kyrie poured in 27 points and two buzzer beaters.

Wednesday, April 8th: WIN, Cavs 104, Bucks 99

The Cavs sealed the Central Division title with their win over the Bucks.  The Cavs nearly gave up a huge 3rd quarter lead, but rode a strong 27 point performance by Kyrie Irving.

Friday, April 10th: LOSS, Celtics 99, Cavs 90

A resting Cavs team showed little fight against the Boston Celtics and trailed for most of the game.  Kyrie Irving rested due to a sore hip, and Lebron James didn’t play in the 4th.  Marcus Smart scored 19 points, and Boston strengthened its bid for a playoff push.

NEWS FROM “THE LAND”

Lebron would vote for himself for MVP

When asked who he would vote for for the MVP, Lebron James stated that he would vote for himself.  Although he’s not the favorite for the award, one can clearly see why he would vote for himself.  If I was able to average more than 5 points in the NBA, I would probably vote for myself in the race.

Kendrick Perkins need not dribble.

This should probably go in the ‘Mistakes Were Made’ section.  But still, Kendrick is a Cavalier and we are so proud.  Yes, he might have traveled, but those were a graceful nine steps.  After watching that on replay, I think I might need 12 steps…

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS PROSPECT OF THE WEEK

Cavs Prospect of the Week

Judge Alberto Julio Banos

Height: He’s a judge from Argentina, do you think I could look this up??

Role on Team: Bieber security patrol

LINK

This story is pretty hilarious.  After failing to answer to his summons for ordering his bodyguards to attack a photographer, Justin Bieber now has a warrant out for his arrest in Argentina.  The warrant was issued by Judge Alberto Julio Banos.

Wow!  Imagine if Judge Banos was at the Cavs games!  I guarantee you wouldn’t see Justin Bieber courtside pretending to understand basketball.  Bieber is known to bring bad luck to any team he interacts with, so this could be a great precaution.

*Justin Bieber should not be confused with Justice Beaver, a crime fighting beaver.

AROUND THE ASSOCIATION:

Knicks and Magic Combine for a 15 point quarter

The Knicks outscored the Magic 8-7 in possibly the saddest quarter in NBA history.  15 points is the lowest combined total in any quarter ever and the Knicks suffered a win to add to their misery.

Derrick Rose Returns

Derrick Rose returned to the Bulls, as Chicago finally has its roster healthy for the first time in months.  On Saturday, Rose finished with 22 points, 6 boards, and 8 assists, looking like the D-Rose of old.

“MISTAKES WERE MADE” OF THE WEEK

Kosta Koufos Tackles Blake Griffin

Kosta Koufos decided that he would tackle Blake Griffin in Memphis’ game against the Clippers, and then got angry when Griffin fell down on him. Apparently Koufos didn’t pay attention like the rest of us during our Ohio State physics classes.  However, since Blake Griffin won’t stop making Kia commercials, we’ll give Koufos a pass on this one.

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WEEK IN REVIEW: 3/21- 3/27

Rahul Mital (RM)

Welcome to the “Week in Review”.  In these articles, we take a look back at news from the previous week in the NBA.  The focus isn’t so much on the basketball itself, but more on the stuff (trades, quotes, videos, etc.) that happens in between games (much of which makes you shake your head in disbelief).  Enjoy!

THE CAVALIER CAVALIERS REVIEW:

Wednesday, March 25th: WIN, Cavs 111, Grizzlies 89

The Cavs made a statement with a dominant win over the Grizzlies in Memphis.  The Grizz’s top ranked defense had no answer for the Cavs ball movement in the 2nd and 3rd quarters.  Kevin Love’s performance (22 points, 10 boards, 4 assists) was key to the Cavs victory.

Friday, March 27th: LOSS, Nets 106, Cavs 98

After a huge win, the Cavs came out flat against the Nets, and lost what seemed to be a gimme at home.  The Nets, fighting for a playoff berth, outscored the Cavs 27-19 in the 4th, and were led by Joe Johnson and Brook Lopez, each of whom had 20 points.

NEWS FROM “THE LAND”

Kevin Love on Lebron (Not Literally)

While completing an interview for ESPN radio, Kevin Love commented that he and Lebron weren’t best friends, and that his choice for MVP was former UCLA teammate Russell Westbrook, and not Lebron James, as many expected him to say.  Although his MVP comments were somewhat puzzling, the media seems to have blown this one out of proportion.  Watch the interview here:

Mozgov Commercial

Timofey Mozgov recently made his acting debut in a commercial for the Brew Garden in Middleburg Heights.  Mozgov sported a backwards jersey, allowing us to all see that it was indeed the not so gentle giant.  Some subtitles would have really helped, but you can’t win them all.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS PROSPECT OF THE WEEK

Cavs Prospect of the Week

Zayn Malik

Height: 5’7”

Role on the Team: Motivational Singer

Wow! Wouldn’t this be great?  Now that Zayn has quit One-Direction, he seems like a great asset for the Cleveland Cavaliers.  You thought the Cavs had star power with a “Big 3?” Just so you know, Zayn was once part of a Big 5!

Zayn, 22, would fit right in with a young Cavs team.  Zayn recently stated that he quit 1D so he could get out of the spotlight.  Well, you’re in luck Zayn, because most people who watch Cavs basketball have never even heard of 1D!

Also imagine Lebron is having a tough game.  Maybe Lebron throws down a dunk, and looks at Zayn, who then tells Lebron, “That’s what makes you beautiful.”  After that, Lebron is guaranteed a triple-double.  Just saying.  I’ll leave you with this acoustic version of “Night Changes” while you guys think about it.

AROUND THE ASSOCIATION:

Kevin Durant Out for the Season

The Thunder revealed that Kevin Durant would require more surgery to deal with a Jones fracture in his foot.  The Thunder star will miss another 4-6 months.  Almost all basketball fans were saddened by the news, except for Dion Waiters, who realized early in the season that he was actually a better player than Kevin Durant.

Draymond Green Sells “Cool Story, Glenn” T-Shirts

In reference to his recent altercation with the Clippers, Draymond Green has launched a line of “Cool Story, Glenn” apparel (Glenn is Doc Rivers birth name).  Gotta admit this is pretty hilarious.  Check out the story here.

“MISTAKES WERE MADE” OF THE WEEK

Atlanta Thieves Off to Jail

Four Atlanta men managed to steal 4 million dollars and used part of it to purchase a suite for Atlanta Hawks games.  At least they waited until Atlanta was actually good.

Jeff Van Gundy Compares Zayn Malik leaving One Direction to Kevin Durant not being able to play for the Thunder

I actually like this comparison.  You go Jeff.

WEEK IN REVIEW: 3/14- 3/20

Rahul Mital (RM)

Welcome to the “Week in Review”.  In these articles, we take a look back at news from the previous week in the NBA.  The focus isn’t so much on the basketball itself, but more on the stuff (trades, quotes, videos, etc.) that happens in between games (much of which makes you shake your head in disbelief).  Enjoy!

THE CAVALIER CAVALIERS REVIEW:

Sunday, March 15th: WIN, Cavs 123, Magic 108

The Cavs outscored the Magic 40-27 in the second quarter and never looked back.  Kyrie Irving poured in 33 points, and J.R. Smith added 25.  Lebron James finished two rebounds shy of a triple-double.

Monday, March 16th: LOSS, Miami 106, Cavs 92

The Cavaliers struggles in Miami continued, as Dwyane Wade and company held an 18 point lead over the Cavs at half-time.  Lebron James struggled through most of the game, and scored 16 of his 26 points in a mostly meaningless 4th quarter.

Wednesday, March 18th: WIN, Cavs 117, Nets 92

The Cavs looked like they were about to drop another steamer after a sluggish start, but quickly picked it up and dominated the underachieving Nets.  Brooklyn had no answer for Timofey Mozgov or J.R. Smith, each of whom scored 17 points.  Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving both recorded double-doubles.

Friday, March 20th: WIN, Cavs 95, Pacers 92

The Cavs avenged their previous losses to the Indiana Pacers with a nail biting 95-92 victory.  Lebron James led the way with 29 points, and with Kyrie Irving struggling, Matthew Dellavadova added 11 points in the second half.

NEWS FROM “THE LAND”

Shawn Marion’s hand is fucked up.

This picture of Shawn Marion’s hand surfaced recently.  Well I guess it’s been around, but I just saw it…And when I did, I puked up my Lucky Charms when I saw it.

dal_marionfinger_200

 

Reporters snap pics of Lebron in towel

In the past week, reporters have been caught taking pictures of Lebron James in his towel twice.  Just like Lebron said, that’s pretty messed up man.  Especially because I send reporters pictures of me in a towel all the time, and I never get a response! Oh well.

David Blatt and Lebron James Disagree on Seeding

David Blatt recently came out and stated that the Cavs absolutely needed to earn the 2 seed for the playoffs.  Meanwhile, Lebron stated that he never played for seed, and mentioned the importance of being well-rested for the playoffs.   Since Lebron is the coach, GM, and owner of the Cavs, I expect him to rest the last few games.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS PROSPECT OF THE WEEK

Cavs Prospect of the Week

Determined Turtle

Height: A shell under 12 inches.

Role on the Team: Kendrick Perkins 2.0

VIDEO

This gigantic tortoise was getting it on, when he was rudely interrupted by a national geographic film crew.  Instead of just letting it go, the tortoise chased the man down for a good 400 yards.

Now imagine the Cleveland Cavaliers.  No doubt Kendrick Perkins has some valuable experience.  But lets be honest.  Both Perkins and the tortoise move at the same speed, and there’s no way Perkins is chasing anything more than a couple dozen feet.  Also, if I saw this tortoise standing under the rim, you bet your ass I’m running the other way.  Sign this beautiful creature!

AROUND THE ASSOCIATION:

Thunder Struck

The Thunder recently learned the forward Serge Ibaka required surgery and would be out for four to six weeks.  Just a few days later, Kevin Durant had been pulled from all basketball activities and could very well miss the rest of the season.  Meanwhile, Russell Westbrook broke his neck but won’t miss any time.  That previous sentence was a joke.

Steve Nash Announces his retirement

Lakers point guard and two time MVP Steve Nash announced his retirement after a 19 year career.  Nash is a certain Hall of Famer, and will be remembered as one of the greatest distributors to play the game.

“MISTAKES WERE MADE” OF THE WEEK

Wrong Language Mozgov

Cavs own Timofey Mozgov was so in the zone before a game that he didn’t realize that he answered Allie Clifton’s question in Russian (until it was too late).  Check it out here:

Lilliard Destroys a Twitter Follower

If you don’t know it already, don’t miss with Damian Lillard on twitter.  Check out Lillard’s exchanger here (warning: mistakes were made):DAM