NBA JAMS FINALS

NBA JAMS

After a month of grueling basketball, the NBA Jams tournament has been narrowed down to two teams: The Bulls and the Thunder.  Read below to check out our writers picks for the final!

Writer picks and explanations:

VC: The Artist formerly known as The Seattle SuperSonics

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Unfortunately for the Bulls, Dion Waiters did not crack Oklahoma City’s three man squad.

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Fortunately for the Bulls, they probably still get free t-shirts for winning the Eastern Conference of this hypothetical tournament. Shit, that sounded kind of sad too. Fortunately for the Bulls, if coaching was a part of this game they would probably find a way to pull off the upset. Unfortunately for the Bulls, coaching is not a part of this game. Oklahoma City wins by double digits.

BD: Oklahoma City Thunder

If NBA jams was made after Russ Westbrook, jams would be made for Westbrook. He may be one of the most athletic humans ever. He’s unbelievably explosive, and the Bulls just won’t have a defensive answer for his freakishness. Combine that with Durant’s ability to shoot the ball, and Ibaka-Flocka-Flames ability to grab boards and smack balls out of mid air, I think this is a no brainer.

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Let’s put it this way, if you did a fantasy draft on 2k15, You might be able to draft a combination of the Bulls’ three guys. You’re not going to be able to draft Westbrook, Durant, and Ibaka on the same team. They’re just all too good. Thunder win comfortably.

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RM: Oklahoma City Thunder

In an absolutely stacked final, loaded with six all-stars, a single misstep could lead to a team’s downfall.  Looking at the respective rosters the teams have similar make-ups: Dominant, scoring point guards at the helm, All-Star swing men, and high-energy, defensive big men.  However, at each position, Oklahoma City appears to have a slight advantage.  The oft-injured Derrick Rose will struggle to guard the most athletic player in the game in Russell Westbrook.  Jimmy Butler has had a breakout season, but he’s still a step below Kevin Durant, possibly the best player in the game.  Joakim Noah is always going to bring the hustle and toughness for the Bulls, but the younger Serge Ibaka will not be outworked.  The big three for Oklahoma combine for 65 points, 20 rebounds, and 12 assists per game.  Although their numbers won’t be quite as inflated against a quality Bulls opponent, the Thunder should pull this off.

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JR: Oklahoma City Thunder

Face it, this OKC team was built for JAMS and to win this tournament.  You have a big man in Wacka Flocka Ibaka Flame that can block, muscle people, and grab rebounds in addition to hitting outside shots.

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KD and Russ are explosive, unstoppable players, especially when they catch fire.  The Thunder 3 beat the Bulls 3 any day.  Noah might be a better overall defender than Ibaka, but thats just one slight advantage the Bulls would have.  Sure they play better team defense but this is JAMS.  Russell Westbrook is going to run DRose off the court and Durant is a tough matchup even for the elite defender Butler.  I personally think that the Warriors-Thunder would have been a closer matchup, but hey I guess you got to have a team from the East represent.  With that being said, I think OKC runs away with this one.

download (15)KR:  Oklahoma City Lightning Bolts

I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to include this interesting YouTube clip.  Anyways,in a virtual world where athleticism and russdiculous shots reign supreme, this was a no-brainer.  Russell Westbrook (most athletic NBA player) combined with Kevin Durant (can shoot over anybody from any angle) and Serge Ibaka (incredible range, freak athlete) cannot be stopped on offense.  Thus, the only chance at dethroning this team would be to outscore them.  Can Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler, and Joakim Noah OUTSCORE this squad?  Hell no.  Chicago may be elite defensively, but at the end of the day, you gotta put the biscuit in the basket.  With Noah posing as a non-existent threat on offense, the Thunder will eat this squad alive. If coaching factored into this final, Thibs could lead the Bulls to the title.  But Thunder fans, thank the heavens that Scotty Brooks is forced to sit this one out!

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And with that the Oklahoma City Thunder have been unanimously been named NBA JAMS Champions! We hope you enjoyed the tournament!

NBA JAMS ROUND 4

NBA JAMS

THE FINAL FOUR

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Bulls (3 votes) over Cavs (2 votes)

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The match-up we’ve all been waiting for.  Easily the best showdown since the GloboGym Purple Cobras were upset by Average Joe’s Gym.  In a match-up of some of the biggest stars in the Eastern Conference, Chicago pulls away in one of the closest series to date, despite the Semih-Pro Staff bias.  Although Cleveland wins the battle of overall star power, the Cavaliers simply play too much one-on-one basketball to pull out the win.  Meanwhile, the size of the Bulls proves to be the team’s biggest weapon.  Kevin Love can hardly guard the Bulls big man, let alone worry about covering for Kyrie Irving’s turnstile defense while trying to guard Derrick Rose.

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In a desperate attempt to salvage the series, Tyronn Lue tries to usurp the team from rookie head coach David Blatt, but is quickly handled by Russian assassin Timofey Mozgov.  Chicago moves forward to the final round, boasting one of the most balanced offensive and defensive teams in the game.  Reserve forward Taj Gibson remains at home, and quietly wonders why he was left off the team, as he cries himself to sleep.

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Thunder (4 votes) over Mavericks (1 vote)

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The Mavs present a formidable opponent, but after finding out center Kendra Perkins has been traded, the Thunder rally and put together their best series to date.  Westbrook and Durant provide to be too much to handle, and Serge Ibaka proves he is one of the few players that can guard Dirk Nowitzki.  With the win, the Thunder prove they are the most dynamic team in the game.  Each of their players possess the ability to light it up from deep, throw down monster dunks, and dish out punishment on defense.

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Upset over the loss, Mark Cuban decided to invest 2.2 million dollars for 10% equity in a non-stick glue company featured on Shark Tank.  Meanwhile, Dion Waiters, though not actually playing, declares that he, along with Westbrook and Durant, are the NBA’s premier big three. Is that a Semih pro staff with the Cubes??….

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And with that we are down to TWO.  The NBA JAMS Tournament final is set.  The Chicago Bulls and OKC Thunder will battle for the crown.  Look for the result this week!! Hope you have enjoyed the tournament so far!

NBA JAMS ROUND 3- ELITE 8

NBA JAMS, Staff Articles

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We apologize for the delay in the release of the next round of our JAMS tourney, but Cavaliers trades this week made that a priority.  Without further ado, above is the Round 3 results of our bracket.  We are now down to the FINAL FOUR! See our explanations of the Elite 8 matchup winners below:

Jams Round 3- The Elite 8

Cleveland (5 votes) vs. Washington

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Yeah, perhaps you can see the bias in our staff with the sweep but Lebron, Love, and Kyrie share the ball beautifully.  In reality they had little to do with the Cavaliers victory.  In a selfless move, Marcin Gortat, aka the “Polish Hammer” lays down for the Cavaliers in order to appease the 400,000+ Poles in Ohio.  Thanks, Marcin.  We owe you one.

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Toronto vs. Chicago (5 votes)

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The Bulls are distracted by the real life Velociraptor on the sideline, but after Animal Control is called and it is determined that the Raptor was actually just an ornery Chris Bosh, the Bulls start to dominate.  A revamped Pau Gasol coupled with the ever-growing confidence of Derrick Rose send the promising Toronto Drakes packing.

This is terrifying….

OKC (4 vote) vs. Golden State (1 vote) 

thunder            vs.     warriors

This looked to be an easy victory for Golden State, but then Dion Waiters arrived in spectacular fashion and led his team to victory (from the bench).  The Splash Brothers do what they do best, but even they can’t compete with two of the top five players in the league in Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook.

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Dallas (4 votes) vs. San Antonio (1 vote)

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The Mavericks simply prove to be a younger, more energetic version of the Spurs big three.  The Spurs fight valiantly, but even with a “big three,” the NBA Jams 3-3 format hurts the team oriented Spurs.  Although disappointed, the Spurs manage to salvage the night by sharing a glass of Bethenny Frankel’s Skinnygirl gluten free margarita, and watching the extended edition of “The Notebook.”

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And with that, we have our Final Four teams.  Both matchups (CLE vs. CHI & DAL vs. OKC) are tough calls and are sure to have close voting results.  Who will emerge to reach the finals of the JAMS tournament? Stay tuned to see the results within the next week!