By John Rodriguez
*Stats were taken from numerous sources, including ESPN, 538, Nylon Calculus, Basketball Reference, and my brain.
- The 76ers are ranked 1st in defense in the NBA without Jahlil Okafor on the floor. With him, they are 31st. When he’s not going 110 on the highway, getting denied for having a fake ID, or punching people outside of bars, he’s definitely not playing defense.
- Luke Walton is 19-0 as a coach and recently won Western Conference Coach of the Month. LUKE WALTON
- The 76ers (0-18) are one loss away from the worst start in NBA history. Luckily they have the Lakers tonight!
- DeAndre Jordan missed 22 free throws….. in one game, tying the record set by Wilt.
- Steph Curry is impossible. He is on pace to break his own season record for 3 pointers by 1.75x.
- The Eastern Conference has 11 teams over .500. The West has 6.
- The decline of Kobe is REAL. Good move by him retiring after this year.
- The Indiana Pacers have the second best point differential in the league.
- The Rockets, garnering preseason hype as title contenders, fired Kevin McHale 11 games into the season.
- Steph Curry could legitimately win Most Improved Player this year.
- Kyle Singler has somehow managed to post a negative PER (-1.17).
- The Milwaukee Bucks have the worst defensive rating as a team.
- Rajon Rondo leads the league in assists per game (10.9).
- Steph Curry leads the league in made 3’s (94). Second is Kyle Lowry….with 52.
- Hassan Whiteside is averaging 4.7 blocks a game.
- Putting the Bulls’ 72 wins in context: even with a 19-game head start, the Warriors would still have to win 84% of their remaining games — the equivalent of a 69-win season — to meet the Bulls’ 72-10 season.
- Staff writer Bryan Deeken (“Kings Guy”) reads the box scores everyday at work.
- Skinny Kyle Lowry is 3rd in the league in Real Plus-Minus, only behind Curry and Westbrook.
- In the month of November, the Warriors outscored opponents by 255 with Steph Curry on the floor – They were outscored by 14 with him off the floor.
- Richard Jefferson is my least favorite Cavalier, by far, he’s terrible.
By John Rodriguez and Kurt Russell
Arguably one of the top ten players in the league, Boogie Cousins recently cussed out coach George Karl in front of the entire Sacramento bench. Looking at his five year career with the Kings thus far, DeMarcus has every reason to vent one of many frustrations he has had with this dysfunctional franchise. The Kings have started off this year once again smelling up Sactown, off to a typical 3-7 start. The team has not won 30 games since 2007-2008, Vivek Ranadive is a nut job, there’s a new coach every year, and they are piss poor at drafting….Entering what looks to be the prime of his career, Boogie deserves more. Here are the top trade destinations for Boogie:
Note: All possible trades were run through the ESPN Trade Machine, so they are like realistic and such, maybe.
The Celtics are coming off an unexpected run to the 8 seed last season. The young squad, led by former Butler head coach Brad Stevens, has high expectations for this season. Boston is off to a 4-4 start, but adding Cousins to their roster would be a massive upgrade at the center position, as the Celtics currently have Jared Sullinger and Tyler Zeller. Boogie would give the Celtics another legitimate offensive weapon to complement Isaiah Thomas. Boston can package the Brooklyn pick they own for this year along with David Lee to get the Boogie man.
Isaiah and Boogie could be reunited in Boston.
Los Angeles Lakers
Before this year’s NBA draft, there were active talks between the sides for a possible deal that would send the #2 pick, Jordan Clarkson, and Julius Randle for Boogie. That never happened but the Lakers could still send Clarkson and Randle and a few future draft picks to obtain Boogie. Things could get a little dicey though, as the Lakers do not own their picks unless they land in the top 3 the next two seasons, thanks in part to acquiring Nash and D12 previously. However, the early signs to this season could certainly land the Lakers in the top 3 again for next year’s draft. Boogie most likely would strangle Byron Scott his first day there, but at the least LA would have a solid duo in Cousins and Russell to build around for the future instead of Roy Hibbert’s rotting corpse and Kobe’s disintegrating knees.
Boogie looks slim and trim in the purple and gold.
Coming into this season, Miami fans (what’s left of them, anyway) must have been stoked. Adding Gerald Green, Justise Winslow, Josh McRoberts, and Chris Bosh to the squad for this season, most expect the Heat to be a top team in the East. They’re incredibly deep, and that is why this trade is viable. Hassan Whiteside, who seemingly emerged from nowhere, is going to be a free agent after this season. The Heat will be unable to retain him, as he surely will be looking for a massive contract after his contributions. While Boogie himself has a large salary, pairing Whiteside with a guy like Luol Deng and another player to be named would free up the necessary cap space.
Boogie could be spending significantly more time at the beach with his bros if Pat Riley can work his magic.
Trade: Boogie Cousins for Nikola Vucevic, Mario Hezonja, and Draft Pick (s)
GM Vlade Divac certainly would welcome two more Eastern Europeans to Sactown with open arms and all of his chest hair. Vucevic is one of the best centers in the East and Hezonja is a YouTube star sensation that could bring some much needed excitement to the squad. An added bonus to these two young studs is that they are also on cheap contracts, which I am not even sure the Kings care about. What do they even care about? Certainly not winning. Anyways, according to John Hollinger’s analysis, both teams would benefit from this, with only a +1 win swing for the Magic.
Boogie looks confused as hell as to why the Magic would try to acquire him, but it could definitely happen!